The Oil
I have too much oil for him. I have too much oil for my problems, too much oil for their criticism and too much oil for their hate. My anointing is too heavy and important to be distracted from.
I have work to do and the importance of it grows everyday. The deadline is drawing near. My charge to spread his love is crucial and cannot be delayed for the time of accountability is here.
I have too much oil, I have too much oil.
Girl Let Me Tell You…
Girl let me tell you what the trickster said to me last night. Gurl tell me everythang!
He said, Girl don’t nobody want you. The men that make sense to the woman inside you don’t deserve someone like you. Your inner woman identify with successful men. But successful men will ONLY see what you don’t have. You have money like him. You don’t have an education like his. You don have a title like his. Why would he want you? Best you stick with the men you at least believe there’s a God and settle for that. You’re not good enough to be a ministers wife, a bishops wife or even a man of Gods wife.
Girl I hear this ever day of my single life. I’m approached by men, some good but not kingdom men. Not kingdom Men! Men that not only believe in the Lord but have been called according to his purpose. Allowing Gods will to be done in their lives.
Gurl that trickster is a liar! A liar trying to narrate your life. You will not settle. A good man is not great enough for you. A man ordained by God. Made from dust just for you. You stay strong and stay prayed up cause gurl when he comes…
Gurl let me tell you…
Go Blind to gain your Vision
This is one of those topics you must stop what your doing and write. Thought flooding in from everywhere. Going blind is traumatic in itself but never gaining the vision for your life is death. As I think on this topic only one figure comes to mind and that’s Saul.
Saul met his destiny on the road to demascus . The purpose he set for his life, which was to murder Christians ended on that road. But one traumatic event had to take place. His sight had to removed. His other senses took control and his hunger to kill was destroyed. God knew his destructive path but it would all be for his glory.
Just to prove it doesn’t take a long time to change. Saul was knocked of his horse and he was blinded by God to change his course in life. His biological state had to shift in order for him to connect with spiritual side of himself. It doesn’t take this much effort for most but this proves the hatred he had for God’s people was terrifying. Nevertheless, this is who God chose to do his work. The Lord completely changed this man. He not only couldn’t see physically but spiritually his eyes opened and the ability to hear and see God was given to him. He changed his name to Paul and he turned out to be one of the greatest writers in the Bible.
His vision was always there. His anointing was always there, he was allowed to live throughout all the chaos he caused. Paul’s life changed dramatically. His sight was blurring his vision and his vision had to be carried out.
The Oil from Aaron’s Beard
A dear friend of mine said this to me as he was describing his ministry and it designated with until now. From his mouth to my ears I heard , “I will bless and cover my people if they only get in alignment.”
In this day of uncertainty the Lord is crying out for his people to align themselves under the protection that only he can give. Thousands of people have died and are dying. People are unemployed and underemployed. No money , no food with an non empathic leader in office, everyday of this year has been like walking on egg shells.
But there is safety. There is a place in which we can be comforted, under Aaron’s beard. For the Lord instructed Moses to anoint Aaron’s head to set him apart because of his duties. We also have a duty to perform and therefore be set apart. Aaron wasn’t like everyone else. He was chosen as we are. And to be chosen we just be in Gods will. Even in these times, mostly in these times, stay in the will of the Lord. There you will be safe, there you will have manna, there you will be comforted. Allow the oil from Aaron’s beard to fall upon you. Consecrating you and appointing you for Gods will.
9/11 19 years later
In my minds eye I still see them. I still feel the chills on my skin. I still smell the burning steel. On at outbid every year I’m transformed back to her running down those stairs, running for her life.
9/11 will forever be part of me. I’m spending it alone this year. No distractions. No family around me. Just myself with my thoughts and memories and the blessing of life. Realizing life is not a privilege, it’s a gift from God. Within a few days I will be blessed to see my 50th year. Twenty years from that horrible day. I was gifted life. Time to raise my children. Time to decide what I love to do as a career. But mostly I was given time to heal from traumas, disappointments and failures.
God has given me time to realize that there are many ways of being successful. It’s not all in education and money or even relationships. I’m successful n inner strength. I choose to fight for it everyday. I’m a warrior inside. He knew I would be able to handle that moment in time. Though it taunts me, I haven’t allowed it to succumb by existence. I was allowed to walk away with my gift secured in his hand. In his hand where no man can pluck me out.
I’ll never forget the scripture that stayed in my thoughts months before that day arrived. Psalm 91 was my assignment to read everyday until that morning. It’s amazing to know that every verse written so long ago had my name in it. The thought of me was there well before I was born.
By his will I am here. I am whole. I am healed. I am his.
My Personal Rebellion
Giving honor and thanks to our God for blessing us with another day. To open our eyes to live in his will another day.
I was in bible study and the scripture we were studying from was Ephesians 2. This scripture dwelt on the works of the devil being in the heart of those who do not follow Gods will. How is mercy towards us is so rich just because he loves us. We are separated from his chosen but we are indeed members of his family. We are united in Christ. We are his masterpiece.
But what came to my mind is how we cannot afford to forget where we come from. We can’t forget our own rebellion against Christ. It first starts with us we must be honest with ourselves. Hold ourselves accountable for what we have done. Knowing right from wrong yet still moving and reacting to what feels good it justified in our sinful hearts. As difficult as this is for most of us, I believe what helps is knowing that God understands the sin within my heart. He knows it’s there. He knows I fight with this evil heart everyday. This is why the righteous will Scarcely make it in. But God is merciful. He understands the battle. He died on the cross for this very reason. He forgives us daily for this very reason.
I know this personally. My personal rebellion starts with doubt. I still struggle with doubt. Doubt that he will bless me with what he promised me. Doubt my very walk. My confidence in myself wavers when it comes to living my life according to word. I question myself and his meanings. Doubt is not the will if the Lord. The enemy brings doubt. And alongside doubt is fear and mistrust. Once I reprimanded myself for doubting him and myself I begin to remember all the many times he was there for me. If nothing else, he died for me. That should be enough confidence right there. But despite my shortcomings he there to encourage me through his word, through prayer and through his chosen.
Never dwell on your rebellion but never forget. Share your struggle with those who are also struggling to be more like him and grow in Christ together.
The Unloved
The unloved touched me one day. It’s hands were dark and bruised, bleeding from the last pain.
It burnt the very place it touched. Instantly putting my body into shock
The unloved pretended to know the language of love. Knew all the phrases and slang of it.
Once touched by the unloved the journey back was lengthy painful with every deceivable moment hung beautifully upon the walls.
You’ll smile again, keep walking, crawling and fighting back until you get back to self. From it you’ll be less innocent, less naive but you’ll certainly gain wisdom.
Just remember the unloved was taught to hate themselves, so therefore it’s touch is full of anger. And if you look closely dysfunction thrives deep within the familiar bloodlines.
My teachings fell upon dry ground and became scorpions only to sting me in my heart. Unfortunately, I became one of the many bodies of women bleeding behind him.
Scorched from his terrible fire I sought healing from my Father who Art omnipresent for my wounds were too deep for man’s remedy.
The Journey Begins
Thanks for joining me!
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton
The Lighthouse Faith based Therapy 